The Top Ten Most Annoying People on Voice Comms

These alien humanoid life forms are almost always present in any given gaming voice system:

1.The quiet one
No one can hear this person. Ever. This is frustrating because you actually want to hear them speak. You suspect they are the voice of reason, and of course completely agrees with your every word; however, this can't be proven.

2.The lurker
Jumps into channels and sits there in silence never adding to the conversation. Since everyone is in game you tend to forget this person is even listening in. Potentially knows every terrible thing you've ever said about other people behind their back. Possible blackmailer.

3.The loves the sound of his own voice guy
This guy is allergic to silence, so he's forced to fill the void with every vacuous thought that flits through his head. If mute weren't available there would be a contract out for his immediate death – complete with a demand for pictures (or, even better, video) or it didn't happen.

4.The chronically unable to work his volume control guy
Easily identifiable by his alternating silence, thunderous voice, and constant complaints that everyone else's mic is either set to “Sonic boom” or simply not on at all.

5.The Andrew Dice Clay wannabe guy
This guy (and this is 100% specific to the male gender) thinks that the absolute pinnacle of humor is the phrase “m***********g c********r” and can't quite figure out why no one else seems to be aware of this immutable fact of life.

6.The talks over everyone guy
No one on the planet possesses such deep insight, creative ideas, and approachable humor as this guy. You know this because you can never get a word in without him verbally steam rolling every person in the channel. The only opinion that matters, in fact, the only one that exsists for him, is his own.

7.The depressing monotone
You want this guys address just so you can send him some samples of Paxil. He's like the Charlie Brown to your Snoopy. You logged on happy and engaged, but after a solid hour of his droning you're fairly certain there is no hope left in the world.

8.The androgynous one
You just aren't sure. No one is sure. S/he claims to be one thing, but sounds a hell of a lot like the other. Under normal circumstances you wouldn't dare judge the situation without more information. Luckily, this is the internet and your job is to judge everything – to death.

9.The always right guy
Crank up itunes because there is no way you are going to gain any ground in a verbal sparring match with this person. For him it's not about using logic or even staying on topic. It's all about talking longer than you can in an intricate circular argument that has no end. Plus, he's a douche.

10.Your mom
The reason that this creature qualifies is because people 1-9 on the list are fascinated with her and are simply incapable of not talking about her every three minutes. It get's annoying.