I've Got 99 Problems, but a Witch Ain't One

I should start by saying that I love my little Witch Elf. This is unusual considering the fact that I have always gravitated towards playing healing and crafting roles. In fact, when I beta tested Warhammer Online I was all about creating a healer toon, and I did just that. She was a Disciple of Khaine and she was certainly fun to play. Like many other MMO gamers, when I start a new game I make several characters to lock in names that I prefer. I made five, and of those, three were healers. I also made a Sorceress and the Witch Elf. I didn't think I'd ever play them, but I made them just in case I was bored in the future and felt like playing a toon that could actually kill things.

Two days after pre-release I looked down my guild list and noticed an inordinate amount of healers and tanks, not to mention the fact that the little group of guild friends I found myself regularly leveling with were all healers. This prompted me to log in one of my dps toons to see what they were really like. I picked the Witch Elf despite my inner voice screaming, “NOOO! Not the whorish one! They will never let you live it down – and they'll stare at your pixel ass!”

To my surprise and delight, she was insanely fun to play. I finally understood why nearly everyone I knew was giddy for dps classes. She was so easy to play compared to healing. My only job in the world was to stab things to death. Given my predilection for violence and anger this suited me – almost too well. Despite my sheer enjoyment of the class I'm still not the type to brag about how much damage I can do, which I'm told is considerable.

Witch Elves are squishy thanks to having almost no defenses and armor. By armor of course, I mean the lingerie she runs about in. It's recently been brought into question why I don't have my cloak showing. First, as mentioned, she's in a thong and pasties, the cloak not only doesn't look right, but doesn't fit the nekkid theme she has going on. Along the same line of thought I have her helm turned off as well. I could also do without the shoulder graphics, but it's not an option. Second, I'm not a fan of cloaks and capes. They remind me of being five years old tying a towel around my neck and pretending I could fly. I couldn't fly, but I could get hurt jumping off tables though, no thanks to the makeshift cloak. Plus I was clumsy, but that was hardly the towels' fault. Let's leave the towel out of this and move on.

I die a LOT on my Witch Elf. I realize that they are currently the fashionable complaint for all the Order players, and I'm sure to you it may seem that witches sneak in, kill all your squishies, and run off unscathed. This may very well be true of other Witches, but not me. I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong, but I can kill one or two healer/casters before I'm burnt at the stake. That's on a good day. Generally speaking I'm out of range of my own healer friends and deep behind enemy lines. Even if I should somehow not manage to kill my healing targets, any time I spend hurting them they are spending healing themselves. That means my teammates are hopefully having an easier time killing the other Order as they are not getting many heals suddenly.

Having played a healer in multiple games I never complain about not getting heals. I never ask for heals. I never get frustrated over not being resurrected. If anything, I apologize for being so easy to kill and being out of range half the time, and therefore making their job that much harder to do. I simply die and run back to do the best I can to ensure we succeed at crushing Order.

I'm still working on leveling my healers, but I'm in no rush as I'm very happy with the dps role that requires so little responsibility of me. I basically just have to show up and look good... err have fun. I meant have fun. I swear.